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Standards: Resource ID#231 used as offset, casting to integer (231) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#231 used as offset, casting to integer (231) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#232 used as offset, casting to integer (232) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#232 used as offset, casting to integer (232) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#233 used as offset, casting to integer (233) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#233 used as offset, casting to integer (233) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Трактат о зернах кофеЧерников Антон и перемещении мелких предметов сквозь пространство и стеклянные преграды...
Со времен славного короля Маркуля, привившего своим придворным нежную любовь к кофе, минуло более 500 кратких лет. Обычай говорить о прошлом "долгие годы" представляется мне неверным, ибо годы коротки, а время ежесекундно ускоряет свой бег. Способность кофе замедлять быстротечное время впервые отметил астролог-ученый Срезим Мудреный, излечивший сына великого Маркуля от принеприятнейшего недуга –вялотекущей желтой горореи, которая словно личинка жука, чуть было не погубила генеалогическое древо царского рода. "Время, проведенное в молитвах и кофепитии", писал мудрец в своих наставлениях к старикам, "не добавляет седых волос и слизи в суставах, а погружает рассудок в здравие, а ум в миросозерцание".
Остановимся на подлинных документальных версиях. По одной из них, трудолюбиво управлявший своим народом Маркуль, так устал в государственных заботах, что перестал спать. Грозной тенью шлялся он по коридорам власти, пугая спящих звоном позолоченных доспехов и тяжелыми вздохами. Его добрая супруга Королева Ио Ланда, устав переживать за здоровье супруга, тайно вызвала родового духа и, взвывая к чести короны и уповая на его могущество, попросила о помощи. Дух не устоял перед мольбой прекрасной Ио и в скором времени удовлетворил царственную просьбу. Бессонный король Маркуль, как свидетельствуют очевидцы, глубоко за полночь тяжело обходил свой сад. Внезапно одно из деревьев с красными и невкусными плодами вспыхнуло горячим зеленоватым огнем, плоды упали наземь, мякоть сгорела, а зерна источали такой дурманящий запах, что Маркуль зачарованно собрал их в шлем и отнес в покои, где они лежали три дня, покуда подслеповатый слуга не спутал их с черной фасолью, которую в те времена мололи и заваривали от бессонницы. Выпив напиток, аромат которого показался ему неприятным, Маркуль хотел казнить слугу за ошибку и нарушение ритуала, но не по времени заснул и проспал три дня и четыре ночи, а когда вышел из сна, почувствовал себя в такой жизненной силе, что немедленно уединился с королевой Ио Ландой в спальне на восемь долгих дней (отсюда пошло множество обычаев, например, 8-дневная рабочая неделя). При этом они ничего не ели, а силы подкрепляли напитком из обгоревших зерен. Наконец, когда шлем опустел, они вместе вышли из спальни, полные сил, великих замыслов и взаимной нежности (спустя девять месяцев Ио Ланда родила Маркулю наследника трона, энергия которого с детства поражала всякое воображение). С того самого дня королевская чета пила напиток из волшебных зерен ежедневно около полудня, после чего Маркуль уединялся с восхитительной Ио Ландой в королевской опочивальне, окрашенной в цвета кофе. Автор: Антон Черников
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